As my readers who are fellow members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints most likely know, a sparse, but audible opposing vote sounded during the sustaining of the First Presidency during the Saturday afternoon session of General Conference (a worldwide broadcast in which we listen to revelation and counsel from church leadership). This unusual phenomenon has been whirring around in my brain ever since, and I've felt that I should share what I've been thinking about it publicly. To my readers who are not members of the church, I apologize if none of this makes much sense. I'm happy to answer questions or clarify anything I've expressed here, if you make it through and have any confusion or curiosity.
What I've learned this weekend can be broken down into three ideas:
1. A diagnosis doesn't change a condition
This is a concept I learned second-hand from my very wise mother, when I was a child. A family member of a friend had received a diagnosis of a condition that had been affecting him for quite a while, and this friend was quite distressed by the news. My kind mama, being the mother-to-all that she is, sat down to have a talk with her. Among other sentiments, she asked the young woman something along these lines: "Is he any different today than he was yesterday?" And of course, he wasn't. This is a concept that has burrowed into my mind ever since.
I recall once being ill for quite a long time, without relief from rest or over-the-counter remedies. I wasn't much of a sick-complainer child, which occasionally led to my sickness going unrecognized and untreated for far too long. Finally, when I had missed enough school to make it apparent that I wasn't getting better on my own, I got carted off to the doctor's office, where an examination and tests verified that I was suffering from severe bronchitis. Naming the illness didn't change it, but it did give us the information we needed to seek out proper treatment. It took a very long time for me to fully recover- much longer than it would have if I had just spoken up and admitted the severity of what I was feeling- but I did, indeed, get better.
Is the Gospel any different today than it was Saturday morning? Of course not. It's no surprise that there are those within the church who don't sustain the Prophet. Sadly, this is inevitable, somewhere among our 15 million members. The only thing that has changed is that we are officially aware of a condition about which we always knew, though unable to name it. I believe that Christ, who healed the sick and brought sight to the blind, can heal His Church and give us the vision and understanding we need to be compassionate and work toward resolution, while standing for what we believe.
2. Thee lift me and I'll lift Thee, and we'll ascend together
I currently serve as the ward choir pianist and the Relief Society secretary in my ward. In both of these callings, I have the privilege and the burden of seeing what it means to sustain someone in a calling. Both of these callings are what I'd call "supporting roles." As an accompanist, my job is to do whatever the ward choir director asks me to do. As a secretary... well, they could probably just rename this position "Errand Girl." This makes it very easy for me to sustain my Choir Director and my Relief Society President, as I promised to do when I raised my hand for them in Sacrament meeting, simply by doing everything I can to magnify my own callings.
But what of my efforts to sustain others in the myriad callings that keep the church running and the Gospel spreading? Do I sustain my Visiting Teaching Coordinator by completing and reporting my visits? Do I sustain my Ward Mission Leader by giving of my time and substance to help the full-time and ward missionaries, and having the faith and courage to open my mouth and trust it will be filled with the right words? Do I sustain my children's Primary leaders by signing the substitute roster or helping the kids learn the Articles of Faith or Primary songs? Do I sustain my Bishop by lifting him up in prayer, paying my tithing, doing my best to be on time to church, or showing up on my designated week to clean the building?
Sustaining a member in his or her calling begins when we raise a hand as they are called, but that is, of course, purely symbolic. It represents (or should) something greater: a commitment we make to our brothers and sisters to shoulder the vast responsibility of running our organization together. To carry one another sometimes and to be carried other times. Often, I think I make the mistake of floating through the sustaining of church officers on auto-pilot. I raise my hand when I'm asked to vote, without much consideration of what it actually indicates. In light of this realization, I have to admit that the opposing vote in the Saturday session was probably more carefully-considered and sincere than my sustaining one. It's time for that to change. I am committing, this minute, to be more aware of the significance of the agreement I make with my raised hand. I am committing to find more ways to put concerted effort behind the symbol of my sustaining vote- to follow my Prophet.
(Please, tell me you've done this.)
3. It must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things
For a too-long period of time, I left the Church. During that time, I worked hard to convince myself that I didn't believe in any of it. I probably worked harder at NOT believing than I ever worked at believing. I did my best to dwell in unholy places, so the Holy Ghost would have no power to prod me to make wiser choices. When I met my husband, we both identified as Agnostic. I wanted nothing to do with God, or Christ, or the Gospel. And then something happened.
Kyle started hearing things about the LDS church- ridiculous things, you know, like the alien theory. That kind of lovely lore. Knowing I'd grown up in the Church and that my parents were still active members, he turned to me to confirm or deny what he'd been told. This led to many long discussions, in which I explained what "they" actually believe. At some point, after a particularly outrageous rumor and discussion, it hit me: Why was I so vehemently defending a religion I had no interest in? Why was it so important to me that my boyfriend understand the actual doctrines of a Gospel I'd renounced? And so it was that by creating opposition, my LDS-ignorant, non-member boyfriend started me on the path back to my Heavenly Father.
There are a few common situations in the Church that can sometimes create very awkward moments. A Sacrament prayer that must be repeated 16 times because of some missing preposition; a baptism that must be re-done because someone has an unfortunately floaty toe or two; the wrong woman, due to misread notes, mis-called as Relief Society President; an opposing vote during the sustaining of Church officers.
These are some of the events that help me feel the Spirit strongest. Hearing a 16-year-old Priest struggling to read the Sacrament Prayer properly fills me with compassion, and pride at the perseverance of a young man who understands the importance of this ordinance. Seeing a worthy man serve in the waters of Baptism, patiently repeating the process until it is properly carried out, bolsters my testimony of the Priesthood and baptism by immersion. Knowing that that Sister would accept a calling as Relief Society President this moment, if that's what was intended, reminds me that the Lord qualifies the called. These slightly uncomfortable events have always given me strength.
When I heard the opposing vote against President Monson, I immediately felt that same fire with which I'd defended the Gospel years ago flare up within my heart. I wanted to stand and raise my hand and raise my voice right here from my living room and tell that dear, wonderful old man that I sustain him! In that moment I would have had the courage to shout it from the mountaintops. And that burning of the Spirit cemented all the more firmly, because of the opposition, my conviction that President Thomas S. Monson is indeed a Prophet of God in the latter days. I believe that he speaks with God. I believe that he receives revelation pertaining to the entire world at this very time. I believe that he is the mouthpiece of the Lord. I also know that he is prone to the same weaknesses and failures that plague every human on this Earth, but I have faith that the Lord qualifies him and bears him up in his efforts to serve the Church and the world.
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And so, opposing voters, I sincerely thank you for prompting these reflections. Your choice on Saturday has motivated me to search my soul for deeper understanding, and the Spirit has testified these principles to me as a result.
